What's To Love?
by Milkingcows
Summary: Out of every single thing I could love you for... I chose the way you show your love to me.  You're not scared to hurt me. And I'm not scared of being hurt.


**LenRui. The amazing pairing, for a certain someone... and what better time to reupload this than today, on her birthday! I know it isn't even that good... it's not good at all... but it's still, you know.**

**Heck, it's not even close to our roleplay. He's just the living undead, and he's trying to viciously murder Rui. 8D Not really, but he wants her dead as well. So duh duh duhhh.**

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><p>The only thing I can remember is pain. Other than that, I have forgotten everything. Everything important to me.<p>

All the breathtaking experiences we shared. All the love I encountered. All the happiness you taught me to feel. It is all... _gone_.

I wish to remember, and maybe someday I will. _Do not cry, my love_, because I will remember someday.

Maybe I'll hit my head on another stair, and it'll make me remember something other than _pain_.

_Please, please, I beg of you. Push me down another staircase so I can remember everything I have seemed to have forgotten. I do not want to feel pain the rest of my life. Kill me, and then maybe I will be reborn with all the memories you have._

All I see is you, sitting in the chair next to my bed, your head in your hands as you weeped before me. _Why can't I remember you?_ All I remember is the pain. The pain of my previous life, the pain of my bones in this ancient body.

_Why are you trying to hurt me?_

Your eyes show nothing but misery, and grief. _Please_, remind me of what it is like to remember. _Please_, tell me what has happened to me. _Tell me who you are_, and maybe I will be brought back to the past. _I cannot stay like this for long_, can I?

You're the one I loved, aren't you? And now when I look at you with no sort of recognition in my eyes, no _memory _to tell me whether this is the truth or not, I can tell that you _want _to push me down another staircase. _Yes_, I remember what you did to me. _I remember how I became like this._ Because all I had felt during those moments in time were _pain_. _Pain and regret. _Though I cannot remember everything fully, I remember you being the one who had originally had intentions to kill me.

You almost succeeded.

Why are you here now, then? Why are you crying, now? Is it because I can only look at you as a _killer_? Because you are one. You are a killer who failed at ending my life.

_Pain that feels so good intoxicates me._

I remember a bit of the past, when you climbed on my bed and wrapped your hands around my neck, putting just enough pressure to give me a hard time at breathing. _I know your plans_, I am not stupid. _Just kill me, why don't you? _That way I don't have to keep remembering all the pain from every time you hit me. From every time you pushed me to the ground, and screamed at me.

It wasn't your fault you were like this. It was because of the medication those doctors perscribed you. It kills me on the inside to remember how you can love me like so, and yet want to kill me. The medicine gives you anger, fills you with dread, and _tells you to kill me. _

Depression. Depression is what started you, and depression is what will be the end of me.

_Kill me_, I want to say. Though, sadly, I cannot breathe now, so instead I just look up at you as my vision starts to blur. I still don't remember you. I don't _want _to remember you, do I? Because it'll make me feel sad for you rather than feeling sad for _myself_.

I can see the marks around your neck. You had been strangled, too. You suffered the same fate I _will _suffer. Though I can see that it was not hand marks around your neck. _It was rope burns_. You had been hung, hadn't you? Which makes me start to question _why you're here today._

_How are you alive_? I want to ask badly. _How. Are. You. Alive?_

Of course that question would always pester me, because I knew that I would die before I even had the time of day to _say _it.

As life was merely a grasp away from me, my vision filled with more black spots rather than a clear view of you, I noticed the tears pouring down your cheeks. _"I love you," _you somehow managed to say.

And then all was black.

_I love you too, Len._


End file.
